Down The Rabbit Hole
by Sciencegeek926
Summary: AU where Walter and Paige never have their fight/reconciliation in Sharknerdo.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an AU where Walter and Paige never had their argument/reconciliation in Sharknerdo. Basically, the episode/case happened, but Waige remained stuck. I first got this idea from the whole WaltCon thing, but it really started to unfold after Sharknerdo.  
**

 **I have a vague idea of where this story will go, but haven't written much of it yet, so forgive me if updates are slower than usual...**

* * *

As Paige got ready for work, she let out a furious groan when she dropped her coffee mug onto the kitchen floor, the ceramic shattering and spilling its contents. She had been doing things like this all morning, and she was already ten minutes late because of it. Then Ralph came in, "Are you ready to take me to school?"

No. Paige usually dropped him off on her way to work, but she wasn't near ready. She'd have to come back and finish up, and be even later to work. "Yeah, I just need to clean this up first."

"Um, we're already ten minutes late. I might be tardy even if we leave right now."

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. She'd have to clean it up when she got back. Breathlessly, she replied, "Okay, Ralph, let's go."

Paige tried to relax on the car ride to Ralph's school, but it was difficult to do so in LA traffic. When they were about half way there, Ralph spoke up, "Are you okay, Mom?"

She glanced down at her son, surprised. She must have been showing her stress more than she thought. "Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine. Just stressed." She gave him a smile that she hoped didn't look too forced.

"How come?"

Paige swallowed, "Um, work." Attempting to lighten the mood, she elaborated with a smile, "You know how our cases can require a little more paperwork than I'd like. A lot more."

Either Ralph accepted that, or he decided not to push it. And it wasn't a _complete_ lie. Their cases did tend to accumulate a lot of paperwork... and her stress did stem from work, or rather a particular someone at work.

Why couldn't Walter just accept things that normal people do? Why did he have to arrogantly pick fights and offend people? She felt like she was banging her head against a brick wall with that man, and he _never_ learned. He was rude, hot-headed, arrogant, selfish, frustrating... Then Walter's voice rang in her ear, _I'm a better person now than before we met. Thanks to you._ And for the thousandth time since it happened, she watched him dive into the water with the sharks... Her instincts had told her to swim after him, but that would have been stupid. There was nothing she could've done. She had stood frozen to the buoy for a few seconds, fighting her impulse, before finally ripping her eyes away from Walter... the sharks circling him... and making a break for the boat. It had scared her so much, she'd barely been able to inhale a breath to dive in herself and swim for the boat. If it hadn't been for that torpedo, Walter surely would have...

Paige startled when she heard a car honk right next to her. Evidently she had tried to switch lanes, straight into another car. She swerved back into her lane, and huffed out a breath. "Sorry, Ralph." She needed to pay more attention. She'd be damned if she put her son in danger because she was off thinking about a stupid curly haired genius.

When she arrived back to her apartment, she headed straight toward the mess she'd left on the kitchen floor. As she picked up the broken ceramic pieces, she was reminded of the time Walter had smashed his coffee mug. Then tried to glue the pieces back together. _Trying to unring a bell_ , she had called it. That was when he first confided in her about Megan. He'd been so shaken by his sister's illness. _I didn't want to lose her._ Those words and his pain still cut through her. She recalled that warm tingling feeling when they'd held hands, watching Walter's rocket launch Megan's ashes into the night sky.

 _He had his chance, and he decided not to take it,_ she thought. _Besides, I'm with Tim now. I'm happy with him._ _And I'm over Walter._ And Tim really was great. Kind, sweet, selfless, confidently humble... Everything a girl could want in a guy. Everything that Walter wasn't. And that was a good thing. Right? Of course it was.

 _Now you're just conning yourself,_ her mom's voice echoed in her mind. Dammit, she really wished other people would stop getting in her head. Her mom was wrong.

Paige agitatedly wiped the floor clean of coffee and headed into her bathroom to fix her bedhead. Her hair still smelled of sea water. Gross. Apparently the shower she'd taken the night before hadn't quite done its job. She had no time for a second shower, so she did her best, finished her makeup, and left for work.

The instant Paige entered the garage, she was immediately confronted by Toby, his eyes serious, "Paige, come with me."

Annoyed, but concern rising in her stomach, she irritably pulled her arm from Toby's grasp, "Good morning to you too." She walked around him and plopped her purse on her desk, Toby following closely. She turned around to face him, "What is it?"

"Just... Come look."

She followed Toby to the other side of the garage, where Happy was fuming and aggressively pounding metal, while Sly rung his hands nervously between ordering and reordering containers of colored paper clips. About ten feet away, Walter was scribbling on a whiteboard, muttering to himself. Before she could ask what was going on, Toby stated, "He's gone down the rabbit hole. Badly. You're the only one who has a chance at getting through to him."

Paige frowned, "What do you mean? He's always doing this." Okay, he didn't always mutter to himself. That was a little strange, and the only other time he'd done that was after he lost Megan. But she still didn't see what made this so bad.

Toby raised his eyebrows, "Really? Does he always do _this_?" He grabbed an apple and hurled it at the genius's back, yelling, "Hey, 197!"

"Toby!" Paige turned on him, but when Walter didn't react as the apple thudded audibly off the genius and bounced to the floor, she gaped. Okay, that definitely wasn't good. She sighed and spoke weakly, a little unnerved, "Look, I already told you that Walter might take a few steps back before he finds his footing... " Convincing herself, she grew more confident, "I-I still think taking a step back will be good for him."

Toby blew a breath out his nose, becoming exasperated, "Paige, this is serious. It's beyond-"

" _Dammit_ Dineen!" Happy's shout and the loud clang of metal as she dropped everything and marched up to Paige startled everyone. Happy might be shorter than Paige, but the power and intensity rolling off the mechanic in that moment made Paige feel significantly smaller. Happy continued in a low, dangerous voice. "You weren't here when Collins was part of the team. You don't know what it was like. So I'll tell you what I told Walter at that nuclear plant." Taking a step closer, Happy's voice wavered slightly, "He was so far gone that I practically had to force food down his throat, because he hadn't eaten in over a week. He was delirious from dehydration and exhaustion. I nearly watched him die, and I am _never_ going to do that again." Now seething, she finished through clenched teeth, "So you get your ass over there and pull him out of this, _right now_."

Paige stared at Happy wide-eyed for a second, shocked. Still speechless, she nodded and hesitantly walked over to Walter's side. "Walter?" Nothing. She reached up and placed her hand on his upper arm, repeating more insistently, "Walter." His only reaction was to flinch away from her touch, and his muttering grew a little louder before settling back down to a mumbling volume. Paige ignored the twinge of hurt she felt, as she wondered if he even knew that it was her talking to him. Probably not. He probably didn't even know anyone was standing next to him.

Her impatience bubbled up again, along with a fresh wave of bitterness to drown the sharp bite of continued alienation from Walter. She grabbed the marker from his hand. He growled slightly, but without skipping a beat, he just picked up another and continued writing. Well, she should've seen that one coming. She stepped back when Walter turned abruptly and began typing fervently on his laptop. Speaking sternly this time, she tried again, "Walter." Still nothing. Frustration spilled over, and Paige firmly snapped the laptop shut, probably losing any progress he hadn't saved, and snatched the laptop from the desk. He whipped his head up, eyes angry and trained on the laptop, and tried to grab it from her hands, but she took several paces back. " _Walter_ , look at me."

But he didn't, instead leaping forward for the laptop. The deep, intense look in his eyes was unsettling as he growled, "Give that back!" She tried to take it out of reach again, but this time he managed to get his hands on it, and ripped it from her. Between her backward momentum from trying to dodge him and the sudden loss of forward pull when she lost her grip, she stumbled backward, straight into one the metal pieces Happy had been working on, and pain seared through her upper arm.

Paige stared at him, shocked. She never imagined she could ever be afraid of Walter, but at that moment... But then his eyes seemed to clear up, and his posture changed quickly from combative to scared. She relaxed as Toby appeared at her side, checking the wound, but still refused to take her gaze off Walter. His eyes darted frantically from Toby to Happy to her arm, and back again, but never to her. He stuttered, his voice a harsh whisper, "Pai- I-I'm sor-sorry."

A pressure on her arm and a fresh wave of pain made her hiss and look down. Toby was applying pressure with a cloth, "That metal is relatively clean, but we'll still need to clean this. It's not deep, though. Some bandages, and you'll be fine. No stitches."

Toby's calm, quiet, somber voice somehow unnerved her even more. She lifted her eyes back to Walter, but he was darting up the stairs, and she watched as he disappeared at the top. Paige was vaguely aware of Toby's voice floating by her ear, but she didn't register what he was saying, trying to process what just happened.

* * *

 **So, that's the first chapter, hope you liked it!**


	2. Chapter 2

*****Spoiler alert* Ding dong Timbo is gone! Yippee! And t** hanks for great reviews on the last chapter! This story will be mostly angst, but I promise there will be a happy ending. :)  
**

 **I honestly didn't think I'd get this chapter out so quickly... I accidentally consumed caffeinated coffee instead of decaf Saturday night, and was wired half the night. So instead of being responsible and using the time to debug a hell of a program for my computer science class, I decided to work on this... and wrote the whole chapter in one go. I kept coming back to it thinking it must be riddled with errors, but ended up only tweaking it here and there. So enjoy this quick update and try not to get spoiled with it, because I can't promise it'll happen again...**

* * *

Walter didn't know if it was her yelp of pain or the sight of her blood welling up and beginning to trickle down her arm, but the haze of thought, logic, and math that had distorted his perception immediately lifted. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the wound at first. _He'd_ done that. The guilt gurgled in his stomach until he was nauseous, and he couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. When he registered that she was being taken care of, that she'd be fine, he spun around on his heels and dashed up to the roof, needing fresh air and some room to breathe.

He knew he had hurt her emotionally plenty of times. To say that emotions were his weak spot would be a huge understatement. But he had never thought he was capable of hurting her physically. He had never, for one second, hesitated to risk his life to save her from physical harm, not yesterday, not ever. Now _he_ was the one she needed saving from.

Walter braced his hands on the wall on the perimeter of the roof, shutting his eyes and dropping his head. He instantly popped his eyes open again, assaulted with the image of Paige falling backward, at his hands, and ripping her arm on the sharp metal. It looked much too close to one of the dreams he'd had last night, of her falling backwards off the buoy and into the jaws of a shark.

He didn't know how long he'd been standing there when he heard the roof door swing open. He straightened up, and saw Paige walking slowly toward him, her arm bandaged up. Walter glanced at her once, but quickly looked away and fixed his stare on the floor. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I would never..."

"I know, Walter." Her voice was unusually quiet, and Walter realized his hands were shaking at his sides. After a beat, Paige stepped closer, "The team says you haven't done this since Collins... do you... do you know why this happened now?"

Yes. "No." His eyes continued to bore into the floor, afraid she would call his bluff. She always did.

Her voice softened, "I think you do, Walter." His eyes snapped to her, the familiarity and comfort in her tone and in her eyes tearing through him, clutching his heart in a burning fist of sorrow. He hadn't heard her talk to him like that in so long. He missed it. He missed it so much it physically hurt, and hearing it now... he had to turn away to keep himself from hoping he'd hear it again.

Walter winced when he heard her huff, "Fine." And he heard her footsteps clap on the cement floor, and the roof door closed, leaving behind a suffocating silence. God, he missed the days when she would push him until he finally told the truth, when she wouldn't give up on him so quickly. He took that for granted. He took _her_ for granted. If he ever got her back, he'd have to make sure he never took her for granted again.

But it wasn't like Walter could tell her anyways. There was no way to explain why he was spiraling without telling her what he'd wanted to tell her since Tahoe. But he'd made promises that he wouldn't do that, and after everything he'd done, there was a probably a good chance that she'd think his words were just another childish gimmick to try to pry her and Tim apart. She likely would never forgive him for such a despicable play on her emotions, and he didn't think he'd blame her.

Walter hadn't slept much, disturbed by dreamt versions of yesterday's events. The team, including Paige, was often in danger, but this time was different. Sure, sharks follow a general set of behaviors, but the specific actions of a specific shark at a specific time is incalculable. He'd felt useless, unable to protect Paige in the ways he normally would. He couldn't predict a set of events and find a solution, other than the obvious prediction that if they had stayed on that buoy... His greatest strength rendered worthless, he used the only other thing he had at his disposal: distraction. Distract the sharks so Paige could get to safety. Walter hadn't really considered at first how likely it was that his distraction would have ended in his own death. He had understood it was dangerous, and of course death crossed his mind, but his priority had been Paige, then he'd worry about himself. It wasn't until after he'd been swimming for some distance and the sharks began to close in that he had realized the reality of his situation.

Despite coming so close to being shark lunch, few of Walter's dreams had consisted of his own death, and in the ones that had, Paige hadn't managed to survive either. The whole situation was disconcerting, because he'd always been able to control his dreams. If one began going in a direction he didn't like, he would just rewind it and play it out his way. But not this time. He had been fully aware that it was a dream, but it was like the dream was made of goo, and his mind could never get a solid grip on it.

And the thought that his last interactions with her would have been her giving him the silent treatment... it was unbearable. He had comforted himself these last few weeks by convincing himself that _eventually_ , Paige would forgive him. _Eventually_ , he'd have her back in his life. _Eventually_... they'd be together. But yesterday forced him to face the real possibility that maybe there would be no eventually. That this was it. This was how it was going to be. And every time he thought about that... well, his heart would prove to him yet again that it wasn't just a circulatory muscle. He learned the hard way how much it could hurt from emotion, however illogical that was.

At some point he had given up on sleep, and decided to get some work done while he was awake anyway. He was being efficient. Although even Walter had to admit that it was much more about clearing his mind of painful possibilities than it was about efficiency. He hadn't even registered what was happening until he was already there, and by that time he couldn't pull himself out of it. He had invited the world of thought into his brain to allow the world of reality to rest, but thought seized his mind while reality slept. And when reality finally woke somewhere inside him, it had already been beaten into a feeble voice, drowned by the battle cries of thought. That is, of course, until Paige...

Walter tried to convince himself that this was just a one-time occurrence. An outlier. Surely, yesterday's case would fade into just another near-death experience in his memories. But the fear of this happening again, of hurting Paige again... he couldn't shake it. But what was he supposed to do? It wasn't as if he could force Paige to forgive him. He had to earn that, and it was up to Paige to decide when he'd earned it.

* * *

Paige hadn't meant to be so short with him on the roof. She was just scared. Everything about the situation scared her. Even the fact that she was so scared, scared her. She didn't blame him. For all his flaws, she knew he would never... he wasn't in his right mind. It just frightened and worried her that he had gone down the rabbit hole so severely. Something must be wrong, and for some reason, guilt kept gnawing at the back of her mind. But that didn't make any sense. She had done nothing wrong. Right? Of course. Well, maybe... She buried her face in her hands as she leaned against the inside of the door to the roof. She didn't know what to think anymore.

She pushed off the door and made her way heavily down the stairs.

"Did you find out anything?" Sylvester asked, his anxiety obvious in his posture.

Paige shook her head, and before she could think of a fuller response, the door swung open, and Cabe burst in, "We've got a case. Time sensitive. Everyone pack their things, I'll explain on the way."

Happy set down her wrench, "Not good."

Cabe frowned at her, "What's not good?" When she didn't reply, he scanned the garage, and added, "Why are you all just standing there? Find Walter and get your asses in the van, asap."

Again, no one replied, but now they scurried into action, the air heavy with unspoken words. Toby volunteered to fetch Walter, and as Cabe waited to get going, he glanced at Paige. He nodded at her bandage, "What happened to you?"

She took a deep breath and breezed out a response in one long string, "Let's not talk about that. I assume there's danger, lives at risk, real problems, so let's not talk about that." Cabe gave her a concerned look, but mercifully said nothing more.

The case was an emotional one for everyone, but it seemed to hit Walter the most. Either that, or he was unable to shake what was bothering him before. Or both. No one could be sure with Walter.

A teenage boy, fourteen years old, had been kidnapped. The FBI was on the case first, but their investigation soon uncovered information which proved that this was about much more than ransom money. The kidnappers were going to use the boy as a disposable pawn: force him into suicide bombing a large group of protesters in DC. That's when Homeland got involved, and Scorpion was called in.

Paige had her hands full with this case. Obviously the parents were hysterical, and they kept crying about how their last conversation with their son had been a fight. The boy had stormed out, and didn't come back. Then Walter was severely short-tempered and beyond rude, even to the parents. She might have snapped at him a few times. And of course Paige had her own emotional turmoil, having a son of her own not far from this boy's age. Paige was about to take a breather of her own when they finally found the kidnappers and would-be terrorists, and rescued the kid. He was visibly shaken and a little scratched up, but he'd be okay.

The boy was bundled into an ambulance, his parents at his side. Paige smiled when the father looked up and mouthed a _thank you_ to her before the ambulance doors closed between them. As the ambulance rolled off, Paige glanced around and found Walter leaning against the van, staring at the dirt in front of him.

She walked over and leaned against the van next to him, "Are you okay?" He just blinked at the ground, so she continued in more serious tone, "Walter, I don't blame you for what happened this morning. I'm just worried about you."

He turned to her and blinked, then just stared at her. He seemed almost... astonished? He didn't say anything for several seconds, but his posture had relaxed, so she waited for him to speak. He resumed his previous stance and pressed his lips together, then finally muttered, "I don't want our last conversation to be a fight."

Paige was pretty sure she forgot how to breathe. "Is... Is that what's been bothering you?"

His gaze was locked on a small rock, seeming to see something else entirely in his mind's eye. "In part, yeah, I suppose."

"Walter..." Paige's voice came out in a whisper, so she swallowed then tried again, "Walter, people fight. It happens. And we've fought before, but you didn't go down the rabbit hole then."

Walter's lips drew into a straight line, "I know."

"So, what gives? What's the other part?"

Before Walter could answer, the rest of the team came bounding up, ready to go home. Paige sighed, wishing that the geniuses didn't have such bad timing. She thought she was finally getting somewhere with Walter, and they might have just ruined it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ooooh two stories in one day! I'm on a roll hehe**

* * *

Paige checked the time when the team got back to the garage. Everyone was leaving immediately, exhausted from such an intense day, and she figured she'd have time to try to continue her conversation with Walter before her Skype date with Tim. But when she turned to find Walter, he was already disappearing over the top of the stairs. She considered following him, but she was dead tired herself. Besides, she could always ask him tomorrow. So she just followed everyone else out the door to go home.

Paige sat on her bed, and took a deep breath, wishing she could skip this. And of course she felt guilty about that. Shouldn't she be excited to see Tim? She usually was, but somehow just couldn't get there tonight. She opened her laptop and was greeted by Tim, "Hey, babe, how are you?"

Paige smiled, though it felt more fake than usual, "Oh, exhausted, but doing good. You?"

Tim smiled back at her, "Same." After a pause, he noticed the bandages on her arm, "What happened?"

She looked down at her arm, almost forgetting the bandages were there. She hesitated before responding, "Oh, we, uh, we had a case today. Toby checked me over, I'll be fine." She wasn't sure why she was lying. Shouldn't she be able to tell her boyfriend anything? But it wasn't _really_ a lie, right? It was more... withholding.

Tim leaned forward toward the screen and his voice softened, "I wish I was there with you. I wish I could touch you, take care of you."

For some reason his words just sounded like mush to her, and she had to keep her lips from rolling up in disgust. That's odd. She never felt that way before. She always thought he was sweet. That was sweet, wasn't it? Before she had thought it over, a defensive reply flew out of her mouth, "I can take care of myself."

Tim's face fell, and she immediately felt guilty, "Oh, I know, I wasn't-"

She interrupted, "I'm sorry, it's just been a really emotional day. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"That-That's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really. I kinda just wanna put it behind me."

Tim nodded, and a silence drew out between them. This had been happening more often lately. It seemed like they kept running out of things to talk about. She cleared her throat, "Well, um, I'm really tired, so I think I'm gunna turn in early. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, okay. Have a good night."

"Thanks, uh, have a good day."

Paige gently closed her laptop, feeling weird about the whole conversation. She supposed it was better that Tim didn't know the truth about her injury. It would only upset him.

But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Not with Tim, but with herself. Almost like the morning's events had turned the direction of some sort of tide, a current inside her, and there was no changing it back again. She was also worried about Walter. Should she have left him? What if she went to work tomorrow to find an identical scene from this morning? Should she call him? She sighed and shifted under the covers, trying to convince herself that she was just too emotionally wound, and just needed to sleep. But sleep hardly came as the whole day kept playing on repeat in her mind until dawn began to spill through her window.

* * *

Walter heard the door close behind his team downstairs, and he sank into the couch, half disappointed, half relieved. He wanted to tell her so much. But he had to be patient. Until her and Tim were over, and until Paige forgave Walter... telling her now would only mess things up even more.

He knew he wasn't going to sleep. Two intense, emotionally charged cases two days in a row? If Walter didn't know better, he'd think the universe was playing some kind of cruel trick on him. He'd snapped at the parents for voicing their despair, unable to hear the words bouncing around in his mind echoed back to him. He'd immediately regretted it, and not just because Paige rightfully bit his head off for it.

Walter glanced at his whiteboard, his work from the night before erased, except for pi, right at the bottom corner. He felt a sad smile begin to tug at the corners of his mouth, knowing that someone on the team must have done that to lessen the temptation.

He knew he couldn't work, not by himself with no one else here to ground him in reality. But he already determined he wouldn't be able to sleep. With a sigh, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contact list. He didn't know what possessed him to call her, and was almost confused when she picked up, "Hey, Walter, how's it going?"

"Uh, hey Linda." Suddenly feeling extremely awkward and just noticing that it was 10pm, he continued, "Um, actually I'm sorry for calling so late, I-"

"No, that's okay, Walter. I actually just came back from a date. A lousy one. I don't mind though, because I met someone yesterday who looks real promising. I'm going out with him this Saturday. But I'm guessing you didn't call to hear about my dating life, so I circle back to, what's up, Walter?"

He hesitated, still unsure himself why he called, "U-um, we're still friends, right?"

"Of course. Is something wrong?"

"Uh... in a way, yes." Actually, lately it felt like _everything_ was wrong.

After a pause, she replied, "Hm, this doesn't sound like something to be talked about over the phone. Do you want me to come by tomorrow? I'll be in the area anyways for my nephew's birthday party." She added in a conspiratorial voice, " I might even be able to swipe a couple pieces of cake for us."

Somehow her carefree tone made him feel lighter, and he realized he didn't have a lot of carefree moments anymore. "Uh, yeah, thanks."

"Okay, Walter, see you tomorrow then."

* * *

Sly walked into the garage the next morning, expecting to see Walter at his desk, as usual. When he wasn't there, he worriedly scanned the garage, yesterday's incident still fresh in his mind. Then he walked to the base of the stairs, "Walter? You there?"

"Yeah, I'll be down in a sec."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Sly went to open his laptop, and saw a Skype call from Tim. Confused, he awkwardly greeted, "Uh, hi Tim..."

"Hey, Sylvester, I'm glad you're there. How are you?"

"Fine, I guess... Did, did you need something?"

"In a way. Look, Paige seemed really upset last night. She said she was fine, but, you know, I'm not there, and can't judge the situation. She wouldn't tell me much about what happened yesterday. I don't know whether to push it or not. So, how is she?"

Sly shrugged, "I mean, I'm sure she was affected by it. And she's never seen Walter like that before, so-"

Tim frowned, "Walter?"

"Yeah, Walter went down the rabbit hole, and- wait, what did she tell you?"

Tim countered with another question, "What happened with Walter?"

Oh, crap. Had he just said something he wasn't supposed to? Trying to skip over the question, Sly stuttered, "Um, l-look, I'm sure she'll be okay-"

Tim repeated the question more forcefully, "Sylvester, what happened with Walter?"

Sly opened and closed his mouth, trying to find a way out of the hole he'd dug himself into, when Paige and Ralph walked in.

Sly just stared at her, eyes wide, looking like a child who'd been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. She chuckled uncomfortably, "What?"

He snapped his laptop closed and answered much too quickly, "Nothing."

Normally, Paige would press him on it. He was always easy enough to break. But she just couldn't bring herself to care, after the night she'd had.

And of course Toby was kind enough to point out her sorry state, "Bad dreams?"

She muttered, "Something like that." Setting her purse down on her desk while Ralph went to Sylvester, she looked over her shoulder at the sound of Walter coming down the stairs. Making good on her promise to herself to talk to him today, she strided purposely to his desk, though she nearly lost her nerve by the time she got there. She reached his desk at the same time he did, and he smiled at her, "Good morning."

She gave a half-hearted smile in return, "Good morning." She paused and watched for a few seconds as he shuffled papers on his desk and opened his laptop. He didn't look like he'd slept much. It seemed like they must've had similar nights. She bit her lip, and decided to speak since he obviously wasn't going to, "So, I um, I'd like to continue the conversation we were having yesterday."

Walter glanced up at her, and his lips drew into a straight line, but he didn't respond. He then went back to his laptop and began typing.

Paige was growing impatient, but rather than whirling around and walking away, this time it made her more insistent. She continued in a harsher tone, but tried to remain quiet enough to not attract attention from the others, "Look, this is important, Walter. So can we..." She gestered to a more private corner of the garage. Walter opened his mouth as if he was going to argue, then seemed to think better of it and nodded.

When they were in relative privacy, Paige began, "So, what's the other part, Walter? What's actually going on?"

Walter's eyes widened and he stiffened, quickly turning to her, as if he was suddenly startled by her presence. Then he frowned and looked over her shoulder, seeming to weigh his words carefully before he spoke. "Um, well... It's..." He paused again before finally settling on his words, "All of our other cases, we dealt with things that are predictable, calculable. But the behaviors of wild animals are incalculable. My intelligence is my greatest strength and my best asset to the team, perhaps my only asset, but yesterday, my intelligence was near worthless. And if I don't have my intelligence, then..." he shrugged, "I'm no good for the team, or for protecting you- a-and the team."

Paige breathed out, "Oh," as understanding dawned on her. She swallowed and her voice was quiet, "That-that's why you always feel the need to be right. If you're wrong, you feel like you've failed us in some way."

Walter didn't respond, but rather stared intensely into the floor between them. He looked deep in thought, and she wondered if he'd even heard her. "Walter?"

He didn't move. Growing concerned again, Paige repeated, "Walter," and stepped into the spot he was staring at. Finally he looked up at her, and gasped at the misery in his eyes. She barely forced out a whisper, "There's more, isn't there?"

His eyes widened, and he swiftly and abruptly stated, "I think Ralph needs me."

He then spun on his heel and rounded the corner, leaving Paige calling and sputtering after him, "What- Wal- Walter!" But as she swung around the corner after him, he was already typing away, in deep conversation with Ralph. She shook her head and sighed, not sure whether to be frustrated by his avoidance or endeared by his connection with Ralph. Paige considered interupting, but Ralph was enjoying himself too much. So she spun on her heels and walked briskly back to her desk.

* * *

That night, she called Tim. Again. Why was she suddenly so unenthusiastic about her relationship? "Hi, Tim."

"Good morning."

But it looked like he wanted to say more, so she asked, "What's up?"

Tim hesitated then sighed, "It wasn't the case, was it? It was Walter."

Her heart skipped a beat, "What- How, how did you-" She broke off as she remembered that morning, "Sly told you, didn't he?"

"Does it matter who told me, other than it wasn't you?" His voice was becoming angry, and she internally groaned at the fight they were probably about to have that she definitely didn't have the energy for.

Trying to keep her voice calm, she replied, "Because I- I knew you'd be upset about it."

"And lying to me wouldn't make me upset? Paige, he _hurt_ you. Do you understand that?"

Growing indignant, she shot back, "Of course I understand that!"

Tim took a deep breath, "Look, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, I care about you, and I don't want you to get hurt. I know you're really close with the team, so I'm not sure you'd accept if it became dangerous to keep working with them."

Tim's attempt to calm her down only fired her up even more, "What, are you suggesting I leave Scorpion? Because that is definitely not going to happen!"

"That's exactly my point! I'm afraid you wouldn't leave even if staying puts you in danger."

"Okay, newsflash, it's _always_ been dangerous working for Scorpion."

"Yes, but this is different, and you know it. Usually the team protects you from danger, but if its members become dangerous themselves-"

She cut him off, her eyes wide at the implication, "Woah, Walter is _not_ dangerous. He was so deep down the rabbit hole, he didn't even know what he was doing. And he felt really guilty about it after."

"Abusive people always feel guilty about it after. Or at least they convince you of that."

Paige gasped and her jaw dropped open. She felt her eyes stinging as she fumbled for a response. When she couldn't find one that didn't consist of prolific use of profanity, she just shut her laptop closed. She sat there in shock for who knows how long, trying to process the fact that Tim had just strongly implied that Walter was abusive.

Just the thought of putting _Walter_ and _abusive_ in the same sentence made her stomach flip in anger and protectiveness. Walter was anything but. He had his flaws, sure, but who doesn't? He was sweet, caring, selfless...

Woah. When had she started defending Walter? Wasn't she mad at him? Frustrated? Annoyed, at least? She tried to drudge those feelings back up, feed them the energy they needed, but it all felt pathetically weak, fake, like she was trying to use a feather in place of a tennis ball; no matter how hard she swung, it would float harmlessly to the ground. She couldn't convince herself anymore that she was angry.

Anymore? No, she couldn't convince herself, period. She really had been angry before. There had been no convincing involved. Right? Or maybe...

Or maybe a much better question was, when had she _stopped_ defending Walter?

 _Oh, god, what have I done?_


	4. Chapter 4

**This story is starting to turn into a little bit of a let's-hate-on-Tim fic. Even though he's gone, I think I still hold a little resentment toward him hehe.**

* * *

Ralph knocked on Paige's door, pulling her away from her thoughts, "Mom? Can I come in?"

Brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear, Paige answered, "Yeah, Ralph."

He opened the door, "Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Why would you ask that?"

He shrugged, "Well, it's getting late, and I heard you pacing."

She looked down at her feet. She didn't remember getting off her bed, let alone pacing. "Oh, uh, yeah, I-" she stopped, knowing her son wouldn't buy it and wondering how much she should tell him. "I just... I made a mistake, and I'm worried about it, that's all." Forcing a smile and putting her laptop away so Ralph wouldn't see her hands shaking, she glanced at the clock. "It's past your bedtime. You need to sleep."

But Ralph just sat on her bed, "If you're staying up, then I am too. I want to help."

Paige sighed, her overemotional state leaving her vulnerable to the love that welled up for her son, making her eyes sting. She sat on the bed next to him, hugging him to her side, "That's very sweet Ralph, and I appreciate it. But you need your sleep. And so do I, which is why we are both going to bed. Okay?" and kissed the top of his head.

Ralph sighed reluctantly and stood up, but before heading for the door, he turned around to look at her, "Whatever it is, you know Walter will forgive you."

Her eyes widened, "How did you-"

"Mom, there's not a lot of things that would get you this upset. It's not hard to figure out."

Paige opened and closed her mouth, unsure how to reply to that. She had no idea she was so transparent. Then she pressed her lips together, resigning to the fact that Ralph was much more perceptive than she gave him credit for. She had to remember he wasn't five anymore. She couldn't keep the hard things from him like she used to. She reached up to brush his hair across his forehead, "I'm not sure it's gunna be that easy. But I'm gunna try my hardest to make up for it."

Ralph smiled, "It'll be enough, don't worry. Like I said, Walter will forgive you."

Ralph's confidence confused her, and she tilted her head, "Ralph, how can you be so sure of that, when you don't even know what it is."

Ralph shrugged, "I don't know, I just know Walter. He can't stay mad at you for long."

Somehow that made her feel worse. She tried not to let her face fall, but Ralph must have seen it anyway because he studied her for a moment and hesitated before asking, "Does this... have anything to do with why you're mad at Walter?"

Paige stared at him, blinking rapidly in an attempt to keep tears from building in her eyes. How had she not known that Ralph was affected by all this? Paige had never talked about or hinted at the change in her relationship with Walter. She knew how much Ralph adored Walter, and she would never do that. But of course Ralph knew anyways. The late nights and early mornings at the garage had stopped, and she couldn't remember the last relaxed, friendly conversation with Walter.

 _I'm a moron._

Paige jumped up from the bed, startling Ralph, and searched for her car keys.

Ralph's eyes followed her, "What are you doing?"

She looked up at him, "Ralph, I want you to be in bed by the time I get back, okay?"

Ralph nodded with a smile, knowing exactly where his mom was going.

* * *

When Walter heard a knock on the frame of the open door to the loft, he turned around, "Hi."

Linda smiled back and held up two paper plates covered in plastic wrap, "I brought cake."

Walter wasn't really in the mood for cake, but he accepted it anyway as they sat down on the couch to eat. Linda asked, "So, how are you?"

Walter studied her for a moment, unsure if she was actually asking, or if it was just a formality of small talk. Deciding he should abide by common social etiquette, he replied, "Well, we recently saved a young boy's life, so that's always fulfilling. Oh, and Sylvester is working on a project which will hopefully result in full tomato coverage on a slice of bread."

Linda gave him a curious look with a slight smile, and without an explanation, Walter was left to ask, "What?"

Linda shook her head and took a forkful of cake, "Nothing, I'm just wondering what it feels like to save lives on such a regular basis that it becomes part of normal life."

Walter frowned, "I-I didn't mean to devalue the importance of saving the boy's life, I-"

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh I know. I didn't think that. I just meant that I'm still really amazed at what you're able to do with Scorpion." She rested her chin on her hand and leaned forward, asking playfully in an exaggerated reporter voice, "Tell me, Walter, does all this _saving lives_ business ever get to your head? Would you say you have a God complex?"

Walter smirked, "Many people would certainly say I do." Growing more serious, he cleared his throat, "I'm working on that, though."

Linda leaned back in her seat and sighed, "You know, Walter, I meant it when I said you're a good person. I might not have fit well with you, but any woman who does is very lucky."

Of course, Paige immediately flashed to his mind. There was always something about him and Paige that just _fit_ , but there were so many obstacles... Walter doubted he would ever "fit" with anyone like that again. Even if he did, he wasn't sure he would want it. It would always come back to Paige.

Linda tilted her head and spoke softly, "What? You just went somewhere." Walter opened his mouth to respond, but he didn't know what to say. Linda helped him along, "Does it have something to do with why you called me?"

Walter sighed and began telling her everything, all the way from when he first realized he had feelings for Paige when they were dancing together at that art gala. He was a little nervous at first, unsure if she would be angry that he had feelings for Paige when he and Linda were dating. But she didn't seem to react negatively. He supposed they had only dated for a few weeks, and she never had real feelings for him. There wasn't really anything to be angry about.

When he finished his story, Linda narrowed her eyes and studied him for a moment, then spoke, "You know it's not your fault? What happened when you went down the rabbit hole?"

Walter inhaled a deep breath, and slowly let it out. She must have seen his doubt, because she continued, "Walter, we might not have known each other for very long, but I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't hurt a fly if you could help it."

Walter scowled, "B-but I could have helped it. I-"

She interrupted him, her voice adamant, "How? You were in no state to help yourself. And you couldn't have known that was going to happen."

"I-I'm not sure that makes me feel better. If I couldn't have prevented it, then there's nothing I can do to keep it from happening again." He squeezed his eyes shut, "Maybe I'm just not good for her. I thought I could improve, but..." he shook his head.

Linda sighed, "Walter, I'm sure you think you're far from normal. And in a lot of ways you are. But what you're experiencing right now? And how you're reacting? It is completely normal. Even someone with high EQ really struggles to find their way through a broken heart."

Walter turned his head to her and blinked. He hadn't thought of what he was feeling as a broken heart. He had never understood the term before, but the tightness in his chest... he supposed it was an adequate description, in a metaphorical sense. Linda continued, "Burying yourself in your work when you don't want to feel the pain is normal, and really common." She cocked her head and shrugged with small smile, "You just... were a little more intense about it."

That gave him little comfort, and his stomach turned, "It just seems like our relationship is too complicated. I make it complicated. It could have been simple..." He licked his lips, thinking, "Paige and Tim's relationship is simple. As much as I hate it," he curled up his lip, "she seems happy with him. I'm not sure I could do the same for her."

Linda glanced to the side for a moment, then back at Walter, "Wait, so you're telling me they've been dating for this long, and never had a fight? No bumps in the road? All smiles and sunshine and roses?"

Walter cleared his throat, not sure why Linda would be pointing that out to him, "A-as far as I'm aware."

She shook her head, "No. I don't buy it. Every relationship has issues. You know what they say, if it sounds too good to be true... Walter, a complicated relationship isn't necessarily one that isn't meant to be. Hell, some of my best relationships are also my most complicated ones."

Walter didn't know what to say to that. He had always valued efficiency, and more often than not, simple meant more efficient. So, by extension, he had valued simplicity. It rarely occurred to him that complications could be better. But relationships had never quite followed the rules of the universe that his mind had come to understand.

Linda broke into his thoughts, "I think you should tell her."

"Huh?" He wasn't asking what Linda was referring to. He hadn't even considered telling Paige how he felt as a possibility, not until Tim was out of the picture, and Walter and her were on much better terms. _If_ that ever happened.

Linda leaned forward, "I know you promised not to tell her. You would be breaking a promise, and there could be consequences to that. I get it. But you're obviously struggling with this, and I think you would feel better with everything out in the open." She hesitated, seeming to weigh her words before she continued, "Plus, Walter, did you ever think that maybe she doesn't know how strongly you feel about her, and more importantly, that you're willing to act on those feelings? _Maybe,_ she would make a different decision if she had all the facts."

Walter frowned at this, trying to think of all the different ways that course of action could play out. "W-what if she thinks I'm not sincere? She's been so mad at me lately..."

Linda pressed her lips together, "I don't think so. It's no secret that you have trouble expressing emotions. Saying that you love her is much, much different than changing room reservations or photoshopping a picture. Walter, she might think you were just being petty." After a pause, she continued, "I can't guarantee that she'll choose you, but..." She bit her lip and asked, "Why did you date me when you had feelings for Paige?"

Walter looked at her curiously, wondering if he had misread her before, and maybe she actually was upset about it, "Uh... I, I guess... I was, um, afraid. I mess up most of my relationships with normals, and I just couldn't risk... I mean, it was stupid. But I was trying to run away from it, channel those feelings into someone I wasn't so afraid of losing."

Linda raised her eyebrows, and Walter thought for a second that might have came off insulting. But he relaxed when she responded, "So... maybe she's doing the same thing."

Walter sucked in a breath. He'd never thought of that before. "B-but I wouldn't leave her."

"Maybe. But Drew did." When Walter opened his mouth to argue, Linda held up a finger, "I know you're not Drew. And I'm sure Paige knows that too. But that kind of thing doesn't just go away. And after you've used Scorpion as an excuse to not be together..." She shrugged, "Maybe she's afraid of you leaving her as much as you're afraid of her leaving you."

 _Oh, boy._ Walter leaned back, trying to figure out when everything went so wrong. But one thing didn't add up, "It only took a few weeks for you and I to realize there was nothing there. Paige and Tim have been together for months, and they're apparently committed enough to work through a long distance relationship," Walter winced at the thought. "Surely, if there's nothing there, they would have broken up by now."

Linda nodded, "Except with us, there were no real feelings on either side. As far as we know, there's no reason for Tim to not have genuine feelings for Paige." She turn to face Walter more, "Which is why, Walter, you need to tell her. If she thinks your feelings aren't as strong as Tim's, she definitely won't take the risk with you." Leaning back and taking the last bite of her cake, "Besides, in my opinion, Tim was out of line."

Walter frowned and gave her a sidelong glance, a question in his eyes. Swallowing, she elaborated, "Walter, they'd only been dating for a few weeks when they went to Tahoe. There's no _way_ he felt as strongly about Paige as you did. I could see him being disappointed, sure. And maybe annoyed because," she gave him a friendly nudge and a teasing smirk, "you _did_ have two years to ask her out. But making you keep it a secret from her? Uh-uh." She shook her head.

He pondered that for a second, "I-I mean, he didn't really make me. I offered."

Linda sighed, "Maybe. But then calling you pathetic? No way. Not cool."

"T-to be fair, he didn't call _me_ pathetic. He called my attempts to undermine him pathetic."

Linda rolled her eyes, "Potato, pot-ah-to. And you need to stop defending him. _He's_ a potato." Walter looked at her in surprise, the image of a potato-Tim making it difficult to keep a laugh from pushing past his lips. "Besides, I mean, you're way more handsome than Tim."

Walter raised an eyebrow in skepticism, amused that she said it as if being more handsome would be game, set, match. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

She smiled, "I mean it! I always thought he was too..." She gestured and narrowed her eyes, trying to find the right word. "Jock. Like, he'd be the high school star football player." She shook her head and chuckled, "Never trust the star football player."

Walter snorted, and after a few seconds of silence, he spoke with his gaze fixed on the opposite wall, "I keep thinking of a potato-Tim."

Linda giggled, "PotaTim."

Walter let out the laugh he'd been holding back. It felt good to genuinely laugh about something. It felt like so long since he'd done that.

* * *

Paige pulled up to the garage, and immediately knew something wasn't right. There was a car parked outside, one she didn't recognize. She glanced down at the clock in her car. It was 10:20. Who the hell was here so late? It would be weird enough if it were one of the team, but a stranger?

Paige got out of her car and quietly slipped inside the garage. She didn't know why she was sneaking in; it wasn't as if she wasn't allowed to be there, and she obviously couldn't talk to Walter without making her presence known. Something just... didn't feel right. She smirked as she imagined Walter's response to that, something about it being illogical and unfounded in reality.

The only light filtered down from the loft, giving the downstairs space a strange glow. Paige cautiously began to climb the stairs, but she froze when the sound of laughter floated down to her. She knew that laugh... but she couldn't quite place it. Against her better judgement, Paige crept up a few steps, straining to hear the conversation.

After a few moments, Paige heard Walter, "I know we haven't spoken in awhile, but I'm glad you came. To be honest, I wasn't totally sure where I sat with you after what happened."

"Oh, of course. I had a good time tonight, just like old times. Minus the bombs. And I'll always be here if you ever need someone to talk to."

Oh, God. _No no no no no._ Paige finally figured out who that voice belonged to. Spinning around, Paige tried to tamp down her turning stomach as she rushed out of the garage, no longer caring to be quiet.

Paige leaped into her car and pulled onto the road, Linda's words echoing in her head. She couldn't decide which part she hated most. _"I had a good time tonight, just like old times."_ What did that mean? Were they dating again? _"I'll always be here if you ever need someone to talk to."_ Paige used to be that person for Walter. But she'd blown it. She'd taken his trust, put it through the shredder, set it on fire, and threw it in the trash. And now he was turning to someone else, and Paige had no right to ask to be that person again. But God, she wanted to so bad. _  
_

* * *

A door opened and closed downstairs, interrupting Walter and Linda's conversation. Linda turned around on the couch, "Is someone here?"

Walter frowned as he stood up, "I don't know." He wasn't expecting anyone. He climbed down the stairs, Linda following him, and called out, "Is anyone here?" There was no reply, so he took a quick look around the garage, but found nothing.

Linda stood in the middle of the floor, "That's... strange. Could someone have broken in?"

"It doesn't look like anything is out of place. It was probably just one of the team, forgot something. I'll ask them tomorrow."

Linda smiled, still looking around a little nervous, then glanced at her phone, "Oh, it's getting late. I should go." She grabbed her purse and started to leave, but turned around, "I mean it, Walter. I'm here to talk to. Sometimes it's good to get a third party opinion."

Walter nodded, "Uh, thanks."

"Walter..." She hesitated, "Just remember you don't have to be perfect for her. It's okay to make mistakes and mess up a little, as long as you learn from it. And... if she can't see that, then you're not the only one who has things to work on." The she smiled and left.

Walter stood for a few seconds, and it was only just sinking in that _he should tell Paige._ How exactly was he going to do that? How could he even approach the subject? He couldn't just blurt it out; he had much more to say about it. So much more. Three words weren't enough to explain everything that had happened, and to convince her that he wouldn't change his mind about it next week, or month, or year. The possibility of hoping for too much and losing her because of it still scared the hell out of him. But he understood now that running away from it would only result in losing her anyways. He needed to tell her, and soon, before it was too late. If he hadn't already waited too long. And it would either result in what he'd wanted with her for so long, or it would blow up in his face.

 _Oh, boy._


End file.
